Wednesday, March 23, 2022

Clarence

image of an old photograph of two men holding up a line of fish

Clarence was quite possibly the worst vacuum cleaner salesman in Greene County Iowa. I am not going to say “in all of Greene County” because frankly Greene County is not that big. When you look at a map of the United States and zero in on Iowa you might think to yourself, “Isn’t everyone who lives here a farmer?” Iowa is after all know for its corn production, right? Well Clarence wasn’t much of a farmer either, plus he preferred to be one of those “city folks”. Being a city folk meant you did a job during the day and had the evenings and weekends to do as you pleased. And what pleased Clarence most was fishing.

During the day Clarence traveled the dusty county roads that connected each farm. Meandering around a few pastures filled with grazing Holsteins, this area of Iowa had its share of dairy framers but mostly his view was row upon row of corn fields. They were mesmerizing really, those perfectly planted rows flickering in rhythm to the passing sunlight. At each farmers driveway, he would break his thoughts away from the hypnotic corn, and head up the lane. He would park in the yard at a spot closest to the house. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the Iowa term for yard, this is the large gravel area that was surrounded by the barn, the machine shed and the well house. At the edge of the yard there was always a worn path to the house, sometimes this path was stone, sometimes, if you were one of those fancy farmers you had a concrete walkway from the yard to the house. No one ever thought of parking on the lawn.

Heaving a heavy sigh Clarence opened the car door, then closed it with a thud, hoping to alert the Mrs. of his arrival. Swinging around to the trunk of his Ford Fleetline Special Deluxe, that he had purchased used some years back, he retrieved the object he’d hoped would bring him his daily bread. A shiny new olive drab Electrolux AF canister vacuum, the latest model in cleaning efficiency. He only needed two more sales this month to stay in good standing with the company and possibly earn a good word from the regional manager. Not that he cared much about status, it was the free time he sought most. Time to be in his boat trolling along Spring Lake hoping for a largemouth bass to also take the bait, and be able to reel in a tasty supper to go along with the sale.

Vacuum cleaner in hand with a box filled with attachments under his arm, and the hose wrapped around his shoulders, he rang the bell. It took a few moments for the Mrs. to answer the door, and he could hear the commotion of the children tussling about inside. When the door was finally opened with a friendly greeting, Clarence put on a smile and started his spiel. He was only a few moments into describing the amazing features of the Electrolux AF when it began to be apparent that this family, while in need of a nice vacuum to assist the Mrs. with the house chores, could not afford to purchase what he was selling.

Clarence lowered his shoulders, smiled kindly at the Mrs. and told her he could see she had her hands full. He let her know that he would leave the vacuum cleaner here for the day or two so that she could try it out on her own time. He said he would be back by tomorrow or the next day to pick it up. Saying his farewells, he ambled back to his Ford. Clarence could sell a person a rusty tool if he knew the person had the money to buy it but it was his kind heart that kept him from being a good vacuum cleaner salesman.


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