Some places in this world are negative. They ooze negativity from the very core of the city. Perhaps it is the areas destructive history or perhaps it is the current occupants of the area that have brought their combative behavior with them from whence they came. It seems to me that when higher populations of people congregate in one area, the more these populations become fragmented and disintegrated, we, as people, no longer have the skills or the will to be a cohesive group. I believe that this adds to the competitive dog eat dog situations that I have experienced in the recent months. Anchorage is one of these negative places, in my opinion. It is a large city that is hemmed in between the water and the mountains with no more room for growth, people unconsciously fight each other for elbow room, and a space to call their own. They are unwelcoming to new comers as they are viewed as just one more person to thwart off from encroaching into a gap that has already been claimed.
I have been told by other new comers before me that it can take two to three years to claim your place in Anchorage. Well, I am one year in and perhaps I am starting to feel some ownership. Perhaps this is an environment that I can learn to like, and grow to love.
Thinking about places on this earth that I love, there is just something special about the place from whence I recently came, Fairbanks is unique in ways that had gone unnoticed by me until I moved. Perhaps it is just the nostalgia talking or perhaps there is something about Fairbanks that is calming to the spirit, my spirit. There are plenty of people that have lived there and left vowing never to return, it is the love it or hate it reaction that Fairbanks seems to instill in most people, whether they have come to live there by choice or were relocated there for their jobs. The isolation caused by the bitter cold and long dark winters, which is life in Fairbanks from October to March, is what drives most people away. The community atmosphere with its unpretentious lifestyle and the fast friendships that form, the breathing room, and the space to explore are just a few of the reasons that keep Fairbanks on the list of places people love to be, when they “love it”.
Ultimately what Fairbanks means to me is that this is the place where I completed my best works and obtained my most important job title, Momma! This is where we raised our boys, where we spent all our time and energy making sure they were both the best versions of themselves they could become.
I do not think I will ever be able to truly change the negativity that surrounds Anchorage; this is a bigger issue than I am willing to invest my precious energy on trying to accomplishing. I am, however, willing to invest time and energy into our life and what Anchorage can do for us.
I will stay this course. I can see the ends to the means that will bring us joy in the future. And, then when the time comes, we will change our course. It is still a long road ahead so planning for our future is of the upmost importance. It is also a short road to be enjoyed with a merry heart.
I am aiming for a merry heart!
