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Monday, August 27, 2012

Let Others Be Right


One of the most important questions you can ever ask yourself is, “do I want to be ‘right’ or do I want to be happy?” Many times, the two are mutually exclusive!

Being right, defending our positions, takes an enormous amount of mental energy and often alienates us from the people in our lives. Needing to be right or needing someone else to be wrong – encourages others to become defensive, and puts pressure on us to keep defending. Yet, many of us spend a great deal of time and energy attempting to prove or point out that we are right. And that others are wrong. Many people, consciously or unconsciously believe that it’s somehow their job to show others how their positions, statements, and points of view are incorrect, and that in doing so, the person they are correcting is going to somehow appreciate it, or at least learn something. Wrong!

Think about it. Have you ever been corrected by someone and said to the person who was trying to be right, “Thank you so much for showing me that I am wrong and you are right.” The truth is all of us hate to be corrected.

It is not that it’s never appropriate to be right; sometimes you genuinely need to be or want to be. Perhaps there are certain philosophical positions that you don’t want to budge on such as when you hear a racist comment. Here it’s important to speak your mind. Usually, however, it’s just your ego creeping in and ruining an otherwise peaceful encounter.

A wonderful, heartfelt strategy for becoming more peaceful and loving is to practice allowing others the joy of being right and giving them the glory. Stop correction. As hard as it may be to change this habit, it’s worth any effort and practice it takes. The people in your life will become less defensive and more loving. They will appreciate you more that you could ever have dreamed possible, even if they don’t exactly know why.

You don’t have to sacrifice your deepest philosophical truths or most heartfelt opinions, but starting today, let others be “right,” most of the time!

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Chapter 12

Let Others Be “Right” Most of the Time

Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff… and it’s all small stuff by Richard Carlson

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